Lost may be for you no easy task
after some training career
I first published this story on the site E. Volkova. About any of his other republication or link to it I do not know.
The story will focus on the period of my life, worse than that I'm not worried. Neither the death of his father, nor any other worldly troubles, without turning to I have such a nightmare, which began training with the innocent title "Enhancing personal effectiveness.
A friend strongly recommended that I go some courses that she took, and after which all participants seemed to come out inspired and overwhelmed with new ideas on how to improve their life in all its areas - from health and relationships with loved ones before the material conditions .
My personal life at that time, left much to be better, learn new things, I basically love, and after a conversation where I have been named the date of the next sessions, I decided to accept. At that moment I could not have known either that these courses were the training based on the brutal methods "Layfspring, nor that care about my well-being friend actually performs the so-called "plan engagement" - the task, each participant receives training on recruiting newcomers.
the first stage of training, background and the most gentle, mostly where there has been talk about life "and reviewed the specific situation of each party, I broke for no apparent consequences for themselves. Received, although the coach label a "living corpse" and "victim", to live with that not like, and I decided to go for the so-called "main course" - the next step.
"core rate" simply talk was already significantly lower but it was necessary to perform a variety of exercises and participate in role-playing games. I must say that before beginning a new stage of the participants read out the rules that everyone should express consent. One of the basic rules - do not make the content of the training beyond the walls, where it is held. The requirement initially looks quite reasonable - in fact, each participant before the team opens a lot of its very intimate parties, and this information is certainly not intended for outside ears. But it is impossible to tell, and about exercising and the content of role-playing games. Though preliminary information about them may reduce their effectiveness for future participants.
decent person, associating themselves in a similar promise, keeps his word. On this account. A very long time and I kept it - as long as I came to the conclusion that the motives of the organizers of the training is not so exalted: they silence, above all seek to protect themselves. The publicity they did nothing, because, as I now know, under the guise of sowers "reasonable, good and eternal", they are elementarily stuffed their pockets, not caring about what their merrymaking can make some mental cripples. And so I'm going to continue to deliberately break this vow of silence - to help someone to be saved.
To be fair, just say, that, perhaps, for someone, these methods are good. For example, for the writer Natasha Markovich, with reverence evoking similar training in the book «Anti-casual», but following her book and did it entirely devoted. Well, for someone else, as I now know, these methods can be fatal. But there was no differentiation in access to training is not conducted. accept all of who pays.
If we are talking about the rules in such training, interesting to note one more thing.
Each participant training selected from his group the so-called "buddies" (a portmanteau. Buddy - buddy). Again - do it is completely out of the alleged motives of "white and fluffy": that the period of passing the training - and after - your buddies you supported, cared about you, если вдруг что-то пойдет не так, настроение пойдет на спад и т.п. Некоторые задания выполняются в паре со своими бадди. Все вроде бы очень мило. Однако ставится condition: if you leave the training is automatically deducted and your buddies. Recall that these trainings are not free. For some, the amount is not so significant, Well, someone has the latest in the hopes of making a breakthrough and then catch up. Someone so the question may be forced to remain in training just for the sake of his buddy, who made the last money. And, apparently, the organizers also understand it - and enjoy it.
One day in training with my participation was such a case: one women refused to participate in some kind of role-playing game, because, she said it was incompatible with its moral principles. The coach said that will be debited the whole team. Money the team, naturally, nobody Comeback. On the poor woman fell universal anger. What did she listened: that she spit на других, что думает только о себе и т.п. Надо быть очень сильным, чтобы в подобной ситуации отстоять себя, свою душу, и свои принципы!
И такие ситуации для this training is typical. Coach is appealing to the party of decency, his sense of responsibility for his buddy, for the team ... and only the will of the party of occupation to occupation is becoming increasingly bruised. I remember that the first class to coach, I experienced something like indulgence, mixed with mild disgust, because I am, a man with good education and erudition, was going to train the trainer, make five errors in the writing of two words. Several sessions later, I wanted to devote her poem ...
Despite this, I began to attend the thought that my life belongs to me less and more owned training. My private life turned into something clear to all, managed, controlled - and again the explanation was very reasonable. I was appointed captain, whom I - like everyone else - every morning was to call-back and report what has happened to me yesterday, as the mood what are your plans ... - ie I introduce covenants training into practice. This was ostensibly to discipline me and did not give to be lazy and lose heart. In fact, every My first step was becoming known in the training. It is interesting that during these calls, I do not even have been reported by name! I had to say: "Call team Drimtim, our motto-so! ". I was no longer a - I was the team. More than that - to me already issued requests to let the night trainees from nearby cities, which was hard to get home after classes ended very late. I, however, refused to convert to a hotel their personal territory, though the training was a common practice.
Gradually, day by day I have the impression that even a minor detail from my life in the public domain. Suppose I was yesterday in a restaurant. And suddenly the man of the training, which I is not even discussed, asks: Well, like to go? Or have a problem - with whom to leave the dog. And suddenly an unexpected question from those who seemed to me, never would know about it: Well, that dog decided? This could be regarded as trifling, unworthy of attention, if such examples are becoming every day more and more.
Go hard understand that this Training tusovka of several generations of trainees has all the hallmarks of the sect, since these people seem at first a kind of solar brotherhood: smiles, kisses, hugs, shared holidays, music, dance, and attention to everyone, birthday greetings in verse and song ...
constantly performed ritual which at first glance, someone will seem pathetic - when everything came to another meeting of the members, past and present, are in a circle pin each other's hands on his shoulders and together, rocking, perform some ritual songs - both at KSPeshnyh festivals. However, over time it becomes uncomfortable from the fact that attention to you too much, that it is already beginning to persistently capture your personal Zapovednoe space, in a constant circular ritual arms began to strain the smell is not quite fresh linen neighbors embrace, and indeed the number of rituals and slogans began to tire. And most importantly - Comes the understanding that you are needed there because the quality just like yours. Like the ones your qualities, which may involve in the training of new участников с новыми деньгами.
Ну, а теперь о «святая святых» тренинга, о том, о чем тренеры требуют молчать и что может привести некоторых тренируемых on a very dangerous brink. It is impossible to tell everything to the same strictly prohibited from making any records. I'll tell you just about the brightest, crashing into the memory exercises and their impact on me personally.
It is, for example, exercise. Each participant in turn was read any statement, and he spontaneously had to give a comment. After that teammate had to give him feedback, beginning with the words "you manifested for me As ... "The point of this exercise though is to give people to understand that he can think to myself one, but others seems different. Example feedback communications filed trainer and trained its people - the so-called captains. I remember how my aunt, Captain T-shirt is clearly a cheap Chinese Market with fat is not completely removed by spot broadcast to me: "You are for me manifests itself as a non-sex, mannish, limp victim". The coach also caressed I have read (quote verbatim!): "You are for me manifests itself as a cold heartless suchischa. After such "zapeva" all team members for some reason saw each other only unfeminine, and unmanly, unkind and disingenuous, and what were saying. Maybe someone similar exercise teach a punch. Well, someone's psyche and can not survive.
Another exercise was to learn to appreciate life and everything in it you have. Switched off light and specially selected music is offered to submit himself lying in a coffin, and their loved ones - say goodbye to the departed. The record came knocking slaughtered nails and falling on the coffin of the clods. No comments.
set of exercises focused on the so-called liberation. Under appropriate Music and sound design was required to recall all the pain that has accumulated for life. It was necessary to recall the instructions on the coach going through a loudspeaker, insults his mother, the injustice of the Pope - and the hereafter. And let go of it all. I find it hard to judge how much pain each of such practices is tempered. But one thing is certain - not all childhood and subsequent life were mild and cloudless. And who can guarantee that the person delicate and vulnerable is a deep dive once in his entire life the pain does not cripple? After all, relatively speaking, the same technology applied to obtrusive inconsiderate distributors some make-up, which "spit in the eye - all of God's dew, and thin-skinned vulnerable romantics. Organizers Training your individuality cares the least.
Another exercise was that, to climb on a chair, stood on the table - that is, almost by ceiling - and from there backwards to fall on the hands team. Though, if you trust the fate of the team, with you nothing would happen. One woman, the one in which moral principles and who refuse to participate in role-playing, dropped his head on the floor. The coach proclaimed: here it is, distrust team! And the woman fell first and in a sense created an atmosphere of fear and risk. Waiting for their turn to jump, I whispered: "I'm afraid ... I fear ...." Someone heard and told the coach. "Fear does not have one, - has proclaimed the coach. - It violates the unity of command. Come out of the room, do not demoralize the team. " I went from the audience. Wounded pride and desire to win himself forced to come back and jump twice. Adrenaline surpasses ... I won! All hug me, congratulate, kiss ... I'm among friends, these are my associates, these are my comrades in arms, together we come out of the battle ... euphoria!
Another euphoric rise I've experienced after a very extreme role play. This is called a "stretch" - stretching, ie the output from the normal state for you. All participants were required to take to the streets in a certain way. One elderly couple, for example, were invited to wear diapers, his wife to tie bows, and in this way on the street campaign for support to orphans. Personally, I had to make up a station a prostitute to dress appropriately and assayed on the street to at least three men to let them know that life - is high. I am very proud that I could do it, proud of her makeup and dress and the fact that I have no doubt, really took a compulsive drunkard.
That's how I lived day by day and rocked my mind with a huge amplitude - from Immersion in a sea of pain to a euphoric adrenalin peaks.
the same time I began to take place weird things. It would seem - and this is what lured into these Training! - Every day, moving from stage to stage, I must become more successful and everyone is happy. In fact at first I developed a terrible watery eyes, that no force, I could not hold back. Nothing any meaningful I could not speak without crying. Staying home alone, I simply included water in the bathroom and had long howl of a voice from the incomprehensible grief. Appetite began to vanish. After some time I could not do anything but just sit, staring at the one point, and smoking. Later I began to embrace panic attacks and fear, absolutely unmotivated and does not justifiable situation in which I was. These attacks were repeated on a daily basis and they begin with the fact that in the solar plexus as if poured boiling water or sticks a needle. After This would run somewhere, it is unclear from what escape, screaming from the inexplicable fear. The worst thing that such an attack could have rolled forward anywhere. Well, if home - then I could close the bathroom and povyt plenty. But it happened unexpectedly - for example, a subway train. And I thought with horror, as quickly as possible reach to some secluded place, because the screaming and wailing in the subway would be to put it mildly, is not quite appropriate - I was still quite adequate to understand this ...
Every day more and more getting the idea that I do not want to live, because this horror is no longer able to withstand. Most of all, my condition was like that, describe how freaky breaking. Perhaps it really was akin to drug addiction - the body accustomed to the training to the pumping adrenaline, demanded more, and that "more" has been received ... On the Internet I come across the term - "postadrenalinovaya depression. I think that is happening to me and it was.
Unfortunately, coaching everything that happens to me I did not connect. I still do not know what is involved in the notorious "Layfspringe. To me there have inspired, I just infirm victim, dissolve, do not work on himself and herself to blame. And I believed him. So I was going through this nightmare alone. I afraid someone to call and complain, for fear of hearing "with the fat frantic" - how, like all right, everything is there, but man is crying every day and do not want live.
By the way, I proclaimed the "weak-willed victim" (which in this case somehow managed to be even more heartless and suchischey!), In this training, was, if not most, then one of the most successful participants. In my asset was a prestigious degree, a successful and highly paid job, an apartment, bought themselves and their relatives, etc. Probably self-sacrifice was beneficial to me to inspire me to again and again returned to training in search of yield. The more participants and the more levels they are, the higher the income of the organizers. That is why the cornerstone of the training proclaimed "art involvement. This is supposedly the most important skill - or you're involved or you somewhere to involve ... All the time emphasized that without this art is nothing impossible - not the seller to sell, nor a woman to attract a man ...
for assimilation of these is undoubtedly correct settings offered, however, the only way - to involve - or simply recruiting - new members. Literally been set, consisting in the fact that the team released a half-day in search of and demanded the return with new recruits ... The explanation that the world can be saved, and the war in Chechnya to stop, if more people will be training. (It is sad that some take it seriously. For example, the writer Natasha Markovic, a part-time coach Layfspring, and apparently messiah, seriously believes that it is engaged and - modestly so saves the world).
Who has not turned out to bring new members, that subject to verbal flogging. Such a man was hailed not completely sincere and dedicated team, either - if it was a woman - she explained that such it will not be able to interest a man ... I remember with horror these exercises involve: the man you explain that there is no money, no time, in the end not interested ... but you keep dragging him into this training, feeling the same sickening obsessive as any network marketer with some "Amway" or "Nyuveysom" when you have them in the door, but they are out the window ...
Indirectly, however, it is the "involvement" helped me to escape from training. I accidentally learned that in order to engage in their own interests Treningovaya audience shamelessly using dating sites. The same, incidentally, make and involved in network marketing - and these were the training set, and they thrive in it. These people are placed on your site, or write to other - Ostensibly looking for interesting dialogue. In fact at some point begin to offer or their network products, or to recruit in training. Simply put, want to cash in on someone's attention deprived, lonely people use for their purposes, but to simulate intercourse interested in how things were going, congratulates birth, etc. I have it has caused disgust and gave strength to say about quitting. Together with me wanted to leave another three people. All three were returned to gently persuade. I return to my surprise, did not even try. I have long thought - why. I think, because the organizers could not help seeing, in which poor mental I was able to. Happened - I could be for them to counter-advertising and generally provoke trouble. Chose to let go without a fight. There is another guess: I think that, despite his serious condition, I kept too much ability to think critically about the situation. I broke down, but not broken - And decided that further messing unpromising.
But after leaving the training I have continued to deteriorate. And I do not know how much I have been able to withstand these terrible freaky breaking alone, without any assistance, if not for a surge of intuition ... One day, even in polubezumii, I rolled on the carpet in a panic and despair. And me, afraid to even close to strain his feelings, he suddenly got the idea to call one friend to another city. Sobbing, I told him that no longer want to live. He asked me to be patient a few days, since going to come.
Then he tells me that he was shocked by my appearance. According to him, I could barely walk.
He asked me to tell what was happening to me. I feebly replied that the work is not all good, and with the personal life just bad. He did not believe that this can explain my condition. The fact that this one is familiar with me for over 20 years and has seen me in different situations. And he told me firmly said that the reason has to be a friend - can be seen, I can not tell him everything. He insisted, so I told him in detail about his life in recent times. When sounded the word "training", he exclaimed: "How can you ugorazdilo? Do not you know how many people then, after this training had to rescue their loved ones?! Idiot! »
And I really did not know. I just honestly wanted to improve its efficiency - always aspired to this ... Never forget the effect that on I fired him as saying. In me as if suddenly snapped some spring, the body went languor and eyelids become heavy. I'm scared sleepy.
Of course, I not a psychiatrist, but intuitively feel that unwittingly he has managed to remove some zombies, which is obviously the coaches. I've searched for reasons for their horrendous state in itself - as I have been trained - and he pointed to an external source, and this insight has brought instant relief. After this conversation, "needles" and "boiling" is no longer attacked my solar plexus, the state of panic passed, and I slowly began to return to normal life.
Now I familiar with many materials on the people for whom participation in such training was fatal. Alas - too late for me the most, I have already paid dearly. But still not too late to warn employees at yourself and wishing to enhance their effectiveness. Remember - this method may not be for you. And not every victim You can quickly help - I have personally faced with the fact that two psychologists, to whom I contacted were not even familiar with the techniques of "Layfspring. Suppose you have no illusions that such methods will help you work and your personality will become brighter. your personality will try to subordinate the interests of training. Well, as regards the work - on the Internet you can find the statement of employees of employment agencies that participants of such trainings held in the black folders. Often, their demands and ambitions are inadequate (man who knows how to save the world, and wants to pay the proper!), But for freedom and emancipation accepted the loss of moral compass. One of the participants of my training after the role-play with pride said about getting rid of complexes and finding inner freedom. In support of it, not too young and generally respectable mother of his children, talked about how one went to a nightclub to the party. There, she once met a man and that same evening offered him sex in the near entrance. You do seem to gaining freedom? I it seems a loss of ethical standards.
And this, alas, is not the only possible after the loss of such trainings. Be careful!
For those who interested in the topic, I cite a reference. I have this information, unfortunately, learned too late, but maybe someone can help.
CRAZY SUCCESS (Oksana Semenova, "Novye Izvestiya")
Today the whole of Russia under the new mania. Our citizens have rushed to sign up for various courses "Personal Growth" and business training. Organizers promise to customers, most of which are wealthy people, make them happier and more successful. However, for many visitors, these classes are over admissions to a psychiatric hospital. There are those who, unable to endure the psychological stress commit suicide. In fact, according to psychiatrists, most of these trainings are working on the principle of totalitarian sects.
http://www.newizv.ru/news/2005-04-01/223
